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How can attachment issues affect our mental health??

Updated: Mar 12, 2023


There is a huge link between Childhood adversity and poor mental health and these experiences in our early childhoods can have a huge impact on how we grow and develop our thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Understanding this and being more self aware can be a huge opportunity to start building healthier relationships and living more content lives.


Two important factors to think about when considering our mental wellbeing, are the quality of our early attachments and our experience of ACEs.


What are ACEs?

Aces are highly stressful and sometimes traumatic, events that we've been through during childhood and/or adolescence.


Examples of ACEs:


· Physical abuse Sexual

· Abuse Emotional

· Abuse Living with someone who abused drugs.

· Living with someone who abused alcohol.

· Exposure to domestic abuse.

· Living with someone with serious mental illness.

· Losing a parent through divorce, death or abandonment, among other things.


Experiencing something highly stressful in childhood is very common, We have all been through some trauma in life and sadly its likely are children will do too. UK studies show 47% of people experienced at least one ACE. Sadly it was as high as 9% of the population having 4+ ACES and these can have serious implications on our long-term health.

ACEs can have an impact on our future physical and mental health, and can increase the chance of us contracting certain health problems in adulthood, such as cancer and heart disease. The can mean we struggle to manage our emotions and are more at risk of becoming a victim of violence and abuse and they can mean we may struggle to form positive relationships. Sadly evidence shows the longer we experience an ACE and the more ACEs we experience, the bigger the impact it will have on our health.


What is Attachment?


· Attachment is about the pattern of the relationships we have had with our parents or carers early in our lives.

· It is the emotional bond that forms between a parent and child from birth and has a huge impact on our development.

· The way our parents or carers responded to us as children will impact our own attachment style.


Our early attachment style can become a blueprint for how we build future relationships. It can also be a template of how we feel about ourselves and have a huge impact on our self esteem. If our relationship with our main parent or carer was largely positive, we are more likely to develop healthy relationships and feel comfortable communicating how we feel and build meaningful connections.

The reality is for many, childhood may not have been without its challenges , and if this is something you have experienced counselling could really help to prevent you from continuing to struggle to feel good about yourself. Healing from trauma is not an easy or quick process, but it can often begin by acknowledging the events that happened and the emotions that they lead to and exploring why your parents weren’t able to be there in a healthier way.


If any of this resonates with you let’s arrange a consultation to discuss how counselling could help link. If you want to know more about how your subconscious beliefs are affecting you now try my free quiz on attachment styles and breaking the cycle link.


The Mum Space Community is now live a FREE community supporting Mums to break the cycle and not feel guilty about making themselves a priority link.

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